


Same Moon, Same Stars

by Ectoclod



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Canon Universe, Explicit Language, Homesickness, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 13:25:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9183562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ectoclod/pseuds/Ectoclod
Summary: It was nights like those when he would look up at the night sky and tell himself one thing over and over again: the same moon, the same stars. It was the only comfort he found against the aching homesickness that resided in his chest.It was nights like these when he would stare into the emptiness of space and realize he may never see the same moon or stars again.





	

Back when he was still in the Garrison it wasn’t uncommon for Lance to sneak out of his dorm in the middle of the night. Often he stepped out, worn jacket pulled tight around his shoulders, edging through the halls with a cautious eye, a quiet step and every intention of raising hell. But despite his reputation, there were moments when Lance wasn’t... Lance. There were some nights when he didn’t flee the boring confines of his assigned room with an ill thought swimming through his head. Nights like those were fueled by something completely and entirely different.

He would wander up to the roof, using a large chunk of concrete he had found the second time he came up there to prop open the door. The first night had been a long, cold one when he was forced to wait for Hunk to wake up from his death-like slumber to stumble up to the roof and let Lance back inside when the skinnier male had discovered the door had locked after his exit. Five phone calls and twenty-six texts later Lance remembered that Hunk kept his phone on silent when he slept. He’d given up after that since, although he wouldn’t admit it, he had no one else. No one who would come up to the roof in the middle of the night and open the door back into the warmth of the inside. So instead he just watched the sky, curled against one of the walls that enclosed the stairwell. With his knees pulled to his chest, lanky arms curled around long legs, Lance watched as the stars shifted, as the moon floated across the sky and slowly, so slowly took its leave. He watched as the sky erupted in colors warm and pure. He watched the birth of a god as the Sun rose from the mountains, from the earth, and carefully began to take its place in the sky, relieving the moon’s duty for just another day.

Hunk came for him not much later.

He’d learned his lesson after that because, although the sight had been beautiful, he fell asleep in every one of his classes that day. From then on Lance carefully tucked that rock between the doorframe and the door, giving him the option to retreat back inside whenever he felt like he could breathe again. He would curl up on the roof on nights like those, long legs tucked to his chest as he stared up at the sky, trying to recollect himself. Nights like those when the suffocating homesickness would get too much for him, when he could hardly stand it anymore. When the distance between him and the old house full of children and laughter started to weigh him down and pull at his stomach. The same moon, the same stars. Even with his family so far away, so many miles away, if they looked up at the sky then they would see the same thing. That was one of the only things that comforted him in those night hours when it was too late to simply call his mother and hear the sound of her voice, let her angrily gripe at him about how he should be taking care of himself better and stop eating so much fast food. It was nights like those that were the hardest to deal with the aching loneliness that came from the suffocating silence that echoed through his room. It was nights like those when the headphones he wore every single night, the same music blaring through the speakers that mother used to play as she danced with him in the kitchen, couldn't block out the silence and lull him to sleep. It was nights like those that he looked up at the sky and told himself the same thing over and over: the same moon, the same stars.

It was nights like these when he curled up in front of the huge span of glass that looked out to the castle and into the starry expanse that surrounded him. With his legs tucked to his chest and his arms wound around his shins, chin resting on his knees, he would stare out into the vacuum of space and count the different planets he could see, the different moons that orbited those planets. His vibrant eyes would flicker between different suns, different clusters of giant space orbs that formed by either God's hand or total coincidence. It was truly a beautiful sight. Yet it strangled him with dread. No matter how much he tried to enjoy it, try to be amazed by the beautiful painting that stood in front of him with its swirls of colors and splatters of white, he just couldn't. The only thing he could think about as he stared out was that he no longer had the same moon, no longer had the same stars. Even if those eyes that matched his own looked up to the sky at the exact same minute, moment, second he did, the image reflected by the vibrant blue would no longer look the same. And maybe never would again.

With a heavy sigh, Lance closed his eyes and dropped his forehead to his knees, burying his face in the soft fabric of his pajama pants. He hugged his arms tighter to himself as if he were to squeeze tight enough the sensation of his thighs against his chest could replace the feelings of another person’s embrace. If he tried hard enough and kept his eyes closed for long enough it could. He just had pretended harder, then maybe, just maybe.

“Lance?”

When a voice erupted from behind him Lance startled roughly, a small gasp slipping from his lips. He jerked his body around and peered up at at the dark form standing before him, his blue eyes wide. He was on edge, his emotions tearing at his skin and his nerve endings frayed and his heart was thudding roughly against his ribcage with fear and panic. After a second Lance was able to recognize the looming figure as Keith but still it took him a moment to calm himself down from his shock. He hadn't expected anyone to be awake. But of course, Keith was awake. Keith never slept, or at least it didn't seem like it. He was constantly moving, working, training. So really Lance shouldn't have been as surprised as he was. But Lance was a bit wrecked right now. He hadn't had a wave of homesickness this heavy since the first week he stayed at the Garrison. He felt like he was drowning in it and he was slowly starting to forget which way was up. But still, Lance cracked a crooked grin once he was able to calm his racing heart. Though if one looked close enough they could see how worn it was, how frayed.

"Fuck, Keith," Lance chuckled softly, turning back to look through the spotless glass. "You scared the shit outta me, man. You can't just go creeping up on people like that in the middle of the night. It just ain't right, dude. You walk like a fucking cat, all quiet and shit. If you do that to me one more time, Ima stick a bell to your ass so everyone knows when you're coming."

He uncurled his long legs, stretching them out in front of him instead as his eyes continued to flicker through the stars. He could practically feel the bewildered squint that Keith gave him for the comment as the dark haired male made his way to the other side of the window and took a seat way too gracefully considering the fact that it was the wee hours of the night.

“I wasn’t even that quiet. It’s not my fault you didn’t hear me,” Keith huffed, his violet eyes moved away from where they were scanning the vastness of space to settle on Lance’s slumped form, “Besides, what are you doing up this late anyway?”

  
The blue paladin gave a snort, noticing but deciding not to point out the irony in Keith’s question, "Just couldn't sleep, ya know?" He glanced at Keith briefly before returning his eyes to one particularly bright star, wondering how far away they were from it. And how far away they start was from the one he grew up under, the one which kissed his skin and warm his home. The one that left him burnt and complaining. The one that made summer almost too unbearable to run about outside with his brothers and sisters. Almost. The one he may never see again.

  
"Got a lot of stuff running through my head. Much to your probable disbelief, this noggin ain't just for looks," he turned to Keith with the same lopsided grin from before, goofy yet nearly charming at the same time. But again it didn't hold the same brightness his smiles usually did, his eyes didn't wrinkle at the corners like they would if his smile hadn't been mostly forced. After a heartbeat Lance let his gaze fall away from the other boy, his smile drooping a bit. It hung on by just it's fingertips, trying dearly to hold on but the wave of dread inside of Lance was edging closer and closer, soon to wash it away. Still, the paladin fought against it, knowing he had to keep it together. At least until Keith left. Lance could feel the other boy’s gaze shift over him suspiciously, trying to see through the small cracks in his act. Thankfully, though, instead of prying, Keith only continued the familiar bickering between them.

  
"Oh boy, you're going to go hurting yourself if you think too hard. I'm not even sure it's a good thing you're thinking in the first place. Could be dangerous," he teased, crossing his arms over his chest. When Lance’s only response was a rather unattractive snort and broke the small bout of eye contact they had shared to instead stare out the large pane of glass Keith followed his lead and did the same. A short period of silence fell over them as they stared out into space, each of them lost in their own thoughts as their eyes skipped along the endless expanse. The quiet only lasted for a second, though, neither of them were yet to the point in their relationship when silence between them could be comfortable.

  
“You know, next time you can’t sleep you should come spare with me. Getting some practice in would seriously help, dude. Besides, you could use it,” Keith offered, a small smirk playing on his lips, “Just don’t cry when I whoop your ass.”

  
"Nah, man. I'm not about that life. I prefer to just take things easy, ya know? Just slide on by." Lance made a ridiculous motion with his hands as he said the last part, drawing his words out as he slowly moved his hand through the air, palm down. Apparently, it was Lance Sign Language, or LSL, for "sliding on by". Which the paladin wasn't even very good at since he’d spend half of their battles screaming. But a boy could have his dreams. "Besides, I don't wanna step out there and serve your ass to you on a silver platter. As much as the thought delights me, I'm aware of the fact that I need to at least leave a few remaining shards of your ego left so you're actually functional enough to fight against the aliens that'll also hand your ass to you on a silver platter. Gotta do what's best for the team, ya know?" He gave a half-hearted laugh at his own words, and despite their teasing note, it was obvious that he wasn't as into the bickering as usual. It was sort of just like he was putting on a show. One just for Keith, to keep his concerns at bay. "So I'll have to turn your offer down. Thanks, though."

  
Keith grunted slightly at the other’s response, his brow furrowing slightly. Lance could see the expression out of the corner of his eyes, could practically feel the words that were to come next. He felt his stomach drop. Looks like the act’s over, Lance thought with great dread, you’ve been caught.

  
"Is something up?" Though the words were put together as a question it was quite obvious that Keith already knew the answer. Guess he isn’t as dumb as I thought. "What has you all out of sorts, huh?"

  
The lanky boy snorted, dismissing Keith's comments. He gave a wide grin, shooting it in the other's direction, "I told you, man. I just got some stuff running through my head. Nothing's wrong. It’s all chill in the grill." His smile fell, a thoughtful crease forming between his brows. "Or is it vile? Having a cold grill doesn't seem like a good thing. Hmm, I real- Oh wait." His eyes had wandered off to the ground but he brought them back up to Keith, seeming to snap back into reality, "Yeah, anyways. I'm fine, dude." He did his best to give Keith a convincing grin. It was actually really strange to have the other male show any sort of concern towards him when he wasn't physically dying. Lance didn't really think he'd even seen Keith worry over someone's emotional state. And even though he wanted to lead Keith off his trail, he couldn't deny that he really did sort of want to open up to the other, tell him how he felt. The feeling was strange because he never usually wanted to talk about his family all that often as if the more memories he shared the more it would all slip away and he wouldn't have anything left of them to hold onto.

  
Another awkward silence fell between them as Keith seemed to ponder over saying something, weighing the words on his tongue. With each passing second, Lance felt the knot in his stomach grow knowing that there were only two possible outcomes to this situation. Either Keith would keep pressing and prying to try and figure out what was wrong. Or he would drop the situation and prove to Lance that he didn’t care. Strangely enough, Lance didn’t know which one bothered him more. But, after what felt like an eternity of awkwardness, the internal conflict was cut short when Keith stood. For a moment he was sure the red paladin was going to just leave entirely and Lance couldn’t stand how much the idea hurt him. But, much to his surprise, Keith took a seat next to him.

  
“You know,” Keith started, enough hesitation in his voice to almost fill the giant gap he had left between himself and Lance when he sat down. “If you’ve got a lot on your mind then it shouldn’t hurt to, uh, talk, right? And.. you can talk to me if you want.. I mean.. Shiro is always complaining about how much our teamwork sucks and even I’ve noticed that our, uh… inability to get along has affected Voltron. So, we might as well try and… improve our team bonding, right?”

  
If Lance didn’t already feel the small bit of composure he had left crumbling then he totally would have laughed his ass off at how awkward Keith was. The poor guy was obviously out of his element. But, honestly, it was the obvious discomfort Keith was in that caused Lance’s wall to crack. This whole thing was hard for Keith, but he was still trying. And so the dam was open before Lance’s even parted his lips.

  
"It's just... It’s just hard, ya know? Being out here is so hard." Lance kept his gaze locked on the never ending expanse of space in front of him, feeling the words build up in his throat, so ready to spill out. He knew that once he started talking he wouldn't be able to stop. "I miss them. My family, I mean. I miss them so damn much. I'm used to being in a small house full of people and life and laughter. You could hardly shit in peace," the lanky boy laughed at his own words because in all reality they were pretty much true. "And here, it's even more lonely than it was at the Garrison. At least there it was bustling with people most of the time. But here... Sometimes when I wander off through the castle I feel like I could scream and there wouldn't be anyone close enough to hear. Even though it’s always so quiet. It’s always so, so quiet here." That comment was the one that caused Lance's voice to quiver just a bit. "I hate the quiet. I always have. My mamá thinks that's why I talk so much," Lance laughed although it was a bittersweet sound. "Which I guess is probably true. But everything is so quiet here sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in space; no matter how much I talk or yell or scream I can't make the quiet go away. I just- sorry. Fuck."

Lance cleared his throat, trying to force back the tears that build there. He turned to Keith with a lopsided grin, "Sorry. You probably don't wanna hear all that. Like my mamá said, I don't know when to shut up." He looked back at the stars, the white specks reflected in the blue of his eyes. "I dunno, I just don't want to be here sometimes. I mean the magical lions and the mind melding and the Pow! Pow! Pow! is cool and all but- I don't wanna do this. I want to go home to my family. I want to see my family again. When I look out at the stars and see no constellations that look even close to familiar it hurts. I get so homesick sometimes and I just want to go home. I don't want to do this. I just- I never thought I would be one-fifth of the squad assigned to defend the Entire. Fucking. Universe." He waved his hands out dramatically towards the pane of glass in front of them. "I’m not cut out to do it. And I just... I want to go home."

  
A long sigh escaped Lance’s lips when the words stopped flowing, the tension in his chest melting away now that the feelings he had kept caged up had been released. A tremendous weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he finally, finally felt like he could breathe again. A smile worked his way onto his lips, small but real, and he was about to turn to Keith to thank him.

  
He never got the chance.

  
“You want to go home, huh?” Keith practically spat the words, a scowl in place on his pale lips. Violet eyes were squinted into a glare and even though it wasn’t directed at him, Lance felt his stomach drop, his frail smile dropping away as quickly as it formed. “And just quit Voltron? Just because you didn’t want this? Well, you know what? No one here asked for it, buddy. No one thought this is where they would end up, hurtling through space in a giant ship with the responsibility of defending the entire fucking universe.” The fiery stare turned to Lance, who still stared shocked at the other boy, and Keith shook his head. “But just because we didn’t sign up for it doesn’t mean we can just stop. Because we are defending the entire fucking universe. This isn’t all about you. The universe doesn’t revolve around you like you seem to think it does. So stop being so selfish.”

Lance wasn't a particularly angry person, even when he fought with Keith in the beginning of their relationship he was still able to keep control of his emotions. Contrary to popular belief Lance wasn't a loose cannon when it came to that. He was unpredictable and had little impulse control but his emotions were one thing he could usually keep in line. But the blue paladin felt his composure slowly slipping away with each of Keith's words. "You know what," Lance spoke once Keith was finished. His voice was tight and his gaze was locked on the ground, nearly burning holes. Everything about Lance had changed. His shoulders were hunched as if to shield himself, his hands curled into fists and all of his muscles tensed. Through clenched teeth, he continued, "I don't expect you to understand what I'm feeling." He spat the words, turning his head to look at Keith. His eyes were narrowed into a glare, the vibrant blue of the irises now seemed more dangerous than they ever had.

"But my family is the most important thing in my life. The only reason I haven't completely given up on this godforsaken bullshit is because if I don't stop those dumb ass, purple furries then my family doesn't have a chance of living a free life. Or a life at all for that matter. And you can think it's selfish all you want but if you say it to me one more time _te lo juro_ -" Lance's voice broke slightly and he halted his words, clamping his lips shut for a moment. His piercing blue eyes began to swell with tears and his bottom lip shook just slightly. "You don't understand how much it hurts. You can't understand. But it fucking does. I never said I was going to leave. I couldn't even if I wanted to. But that doesn't change the fact that I’m constantly drowning in homesickness. I miss them so much it's not even funny. And if you think that's selfish then... Then I really don't give a shit." His voice was weak, shaky and thick with the tears that built up in his throat. But his words still carried all of their potential force. Lance jerked his gaze from Keith, not hesitating at all before he got to his feet. "Go fuck yourself." Those were Lance's departing words as he turned away from Keith, tears falling down his tan cheeks the second he looked away. And with that, Lance left the red paladin all alone with nothing but the wide, empty expanse of space.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first fanfiction I've ever written but I ended up liking it quite a bit and I hope you guys did too!! This fic is going to have more parts, obviously, but I'm not one hundred percent sure where it's all going to go. I have a pretty good idea but expect tags to change as we go. Klance is the end game though so don't worry about that. I can't promise it will come easily, though. These two are too stupid to do anything the simple way. But anyways!! I will update as soon as possible, though! 
> 
> You can contact me on Tumblr and Instagram with the same username so if you have any questions, want to chat, or want to harass me into updating faster feel free to do so!


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